Weddings. Survived a day of weddings but not without some difficulties. I think I’ll never get used to going for weddings without him.it’s just too awkward n I feel like I’m pitied always. Disagreement with Ibu early in the morning making me feel all sad n lonely once again. Msged him n waiting for his reply but it never came. Cried early morning n the tears just doesn’t seem to stop. How did I deal with it? I felt alone n it only made me harden my heart n emotions. People always think I’m lucky n look ok alright.. But they dont know what I go thru, always on my toes expecting a call, insecure, jealous to see others with their fiancé or husband but not me.. Mcm layang2 terputus tali n the things I’ve done, fighting conflict within myself. Is that why I feel like others pity me but they don’t say it out to me cos I was the one who made the choice kan.. I just have to live with it n even when I suffer I have to do it alone. I’m so scared
